I have written a lot of very short songs in my time. There are a number of reasons for this.

To begin with, I sometimes have quite a short attention span when it comes to writing – particularly songs. I start writing, then get distracted, and never quite get back in to the mindset I was in when I started working. I find it very difficult to go back to a song once I have left it.

Secondly, and somewhat relatedly, I get bored with my songs quite quickly. Or rather, I get worried that anyone listening to them will get bored. So instead of doing something interesting with them – like putting in a middle 8, for example – I just stop working.

Thirdly, I have a habit of basically summing up everything I wanted to say in the song in a line or two – everything else I write after that just feels tautological and repetitive. (Do you see what I did there?) My songs are not usually narratives, they are one-liners.

This song is a joke. A satire on the use of ‘baby’ in popular music. That’s pretty much all there is to it.

I originally wrote and recorded a version of this song back in 2003, with one guitar and three vocal parts. I could never listen to that recording without adding drum fills in my head – I always fancied doing a “full band” version it, and now, thanks to the magic of Garageband, I have. The new recording adds drums, bass and lead guitar into the mix.

Here, have the original 4 track demo:

Baby Now

Baby, baby now {x3}
Whooooooaaaa!
Baby, baby now {x3}
Whooooooaaaa!

Stop your crying now, {x3}
Whooooooaaaa!
Stop your crying now, {x3}
Whooooooaaaa!

What do you want from me?
Baby, baby now
What do you want from me?
Baby, baby now
What do you want from me?
Baby, baby now

Baby, baby now.
I’ve changed your nappy {x5}

I remember at one particularly shambolic gig at The Pony in Melbourne, we attempted to perform an impromptu Thrash Metal version of the song. We got about halfway through, when Ev’s bass pedal came off the drum, and the song sort of petered out. I don’t have a recording of that, but I do have a sloppy studio recording we did, featuring slide guitar and harmonica.

The Mime version was much more upbeat country pop than my own original recording. Compare and contrast:

Also, apologies for the bad American accent.

At the time, my mum tried to convince me to sell the song to a boy band, so I could retire and live off the royalties.

And as a bonus, have a snippet of the Disney version from one of our rehearsals – Donald Duck on lead vocals and guitar, Mickey Mouse on backing vocals, (with Erin on bass and Dom on Drums).

The disgust shown by Nathan at the end is because my Donald Duck impression caused me to slobber uncontrollably all over the microphone. Nice.

Childhood Song

When I sit alone at night
With the feeling that something ain’t right
I’ll sing you your childhood song

When you’re feeling low and blue
I have something that may help you
I’ll sing you your childhood song

Your childhood song
Fixes what’s wrong
Your childhood song
Your childhood’s gone

When your life just isn’t going,
I’ve got the stuff to get those memories flowing
I’ll sing you
Your childhood song

Your childhood song
Fixes what’s wrong
Your childhood song
Your childhood’s gone

When those around you lose their heads,
It’s better to look back instead*,
I’ll sing you your childhood song

Your childhood song
Fixes what’s wrong
Your childhood song
Your childhood’s gone

When you’re feeling crap and shitty
I’ll save you with this reminisce ditty
I’ll sing you your childhood song

*The original line, as heard on the original demo above, was the embarrassing “Gotta think fast to not be dead”. What?

I originally wrote this song towards the end of 2001 as a birthday present for her, but neglected to actually write down the words anywhere. So after I had recorded it on to cassette and given it to her as a present, I thought I’d better write it down and record it for myself for posterity. Unfortunately, I had totally forgotten the second verse, and had to write a new one. I still can’t remember the original version.

At the time I wrote it, I had recently been listening to the song Galveston. I think you can hear the (not particularly subtle) influence, which was totally subconscious and unintentional on my part. See if you can spot it (although our song was more punk-pop than Glen Campbell’s country classic – my next post will be about our country effort).

I was speaking to Emily my friend who wishes to remain nameless the other day, and found out that she was pregnant! So to celebrate, I thought I’d share this song with the world.

I have numerous versions of this song lying around, but I’ll share two of them with you here. First, a version recorded at home by me (guitar, bass and all vocals) on my laptop, with a simple drum loop in the background. The second features the International Language of Mime in a rehearsal studio, recorded onto a friend’s 4-track mini-disc recorder (remember mini-discs?). It was our very first session with our new drummer, Evelyn – who has since gone on to be better known as Pikelet – and features Nathan on lead vocals, with Ev on drums and backing vocals, Dom on bass, and me on guitar and backing vocals. This song was always a crowd favourite at International Language of Mime gigs, and is a lot of fun to play.

Emily by katzette

Emily by The International Language Of Mime

[ETA I've just remembered that I've got photos from this recording session lying around somewhere. I'll try to dig them up and share them here. Watch this space. OK, you can stop watching now.]

Emily

1,2,3,4,1…

Emily, oh Emily
It’s clear to see you care for me
I care for you
Ooh ooh ooh

Emily, oh Emily
You’re always there to carry me on
Through
Me and you

I’ve let you down in the past
But you’ve always forgiven me
Eventually

You’ve got the biggest heart I know
And you think positively
Emily, Emily, Emily

Emily, oh Emily
It’s clear to see you care for me
I care for you
Ooh ooh ooh

Emily, oh Emily
You’re always there to carry me on
Through
Me and you

I’ve let you down in the past
But you’ve always forgiven me
Eventually
When it’s time to go well you know
I’ll be waiting patiently
Emily, Emily, Emily
Emily, oh Emily
It’s clear to see you care for me
I care for you
Ooh ooh ooh

Emily, oh Emily
You’re always there to carry me on
Through
Me and you

Aaahhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh…
Aaahhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh…

The other week I dug out a few of my old cassettes, and set about digitising them. Here is the first of the fruits of that digital harvest.

I wrote the song around August/September 2001. It is about the awesome time I had just had at the Reading Festival. This was potentially (my memory is a bit hazy) the first song I wrote as a member of The International Language Of Mime. I recorded this song shortly after I had finished writing it – it was very late at night and I was playing and singing very quietly, and very close to the cassette player. I was also incredibly tired, and you can hear my voice cracking a few times. I think the late night tired vibe comes across, and I quite like it. It appeared in the early set lists of The International Language of Mime, but soon dropped out of it, because I wasn’t very good at singing it when I wasn’t really tired.

I have been accused of ripping off the tune from Oasis. I strongly deny this accusation. I ripped off the tune from The Moldy Peaches (let’s just say I was ‘inspired’ by them, shall we?).

I have included two versions for you: the original home recording, and a recording from an International Language Of Mime* rehearsal session.

Let me know what you think.

The Weekend:

I had a really good weekend, baby,
I want to thank you for the weekend, baby,
I had a really good weekend, baby,
With you.

You made me laugh, you made me smile,
You made me sing for a while,
I forgot my watch had a dial.

You made me dance, you made me shout,
You made me run all about,
I forgot I ever had a doubt.

You made me jump, you made me shake,
You always make me double take,
I forgot it was getting very late.

Doo doo doo…

I forgot it’s getting late,
You always made me double take,
You made me jump, you made me shake.

I forgot I had a doubt,
You made me run all about,
You made me dance, you made me shout.

I forgot my watch had a dial,
You made me sing for a while,
You made me laugh, you made me smile.

I had a really good weekend, baby,
I want to thank you for the weekend, baby,
I had a really good weekend,
With you.

*the Mime line up at this stage was Dom, Dan, Nathan and Gavin

The seeds for this song were sown back in the mists of time, when I was a sprightly 18 year old. I was in my final year of secondary school, and had formed my first band, the inspiringly named Psychedelic Curtains. We were nominally a 4 piece – three guitarists and drummer (none of us owned a bass), and I had semi-taught the other two guitarists to play. We never actually all managed to get in a room together at the same time to play – three of us jammed once or twice together.

In reality, the band ended up being a two-piece. Two guitars, one voice (I hadn’t built up the courage to sing in front of anyone else at this stage). We wrote a short album-worth of material and recorded it on a little tape deck in my bedroom. We called the album The Wilderness Of Zin, after discovering the niftily named region on a map of the Negev desert in Israel. We even had a couple of t-shirts printed (coincidentally, I was wearing what’s left of mine today). The picture used on the t-shirt was one I took of a school mate of ours, who has since gone on to bigger and better things*.

This song was not written for that album, but was written a year or so later, when I was feeling nostalgic. The recording was done almost a decade later, in 2005, using an old iMac and ProTools Free. Two vocal tracks, two guitar tracks. Simples.

Disclaimer: I have never been to the Wilderness Of Zin.

*Also coincidentally, I was wearing that t-shirt at the 2001 Reading Festival, the same day that Ladytron were playing, but I had no idea at the time that my old school friend was in the band!

Wilderness Of Zin

I’m lost in the Wilderness of Zin.
A more desolate place,
You have not been in.
Wilderness of Zin.

I’m lost in the Wilderness of Zin.
Where ever else you go,
You’ve always been
To the Wilderness of Zin

I’m lost in the Wilderness of Zin
Wilderness of Zin.

This was the last song I wrote before leaving London for Australia, way back in the mists of time (2001). It is an incredibly basic rock and roll number – a little too basic, it has been said. I have another short song lying around somewhere which I keep meaning to integrate into this one, as an attempt to inject a bit of variety. One day, I may get around to it. It shall not be this day.

This was the first recording I ever made on my laptop, the first song recorded with Garageband. As a result it is somewhat raw. The ‘guitar solos’ are me singing with a distorted guitar effect on my voice. When The International Language Of Mime played this song live, the solos were played on kazoo. We were all class. Until our recent reunion gig at the end of last year, this song had not been performed live since 2002. I always enjoyed playing it in rehearsals – it was a good warm up song – and I’ve always loved Dom’s bass line for it (my attempt to replicate it in this recording was not entirely successful – it was played on a guitar and then dropped an octave)

Anyway, here it is. Feel free to download and share or ignore as you see fit.

Thanks for listening!

Anything You Want (This ‘N That)

You can hit me, you can hit me
You can do anything you want
You can kick me, you can kick
You can do anything you want

I don’t mind, no I don’t mind
‘Cause you’re the certain kind
I’ve been looking for

You can thrill me, you can thrill me
You can do anything you want
You can kill me, you can kill me
You can do anything you want

I don’t mind, no I don’t mind
‘Cause you’re the certain kind
I’ve been looking for

You can use me, you can use me
You can do anything you want
You can abuse me, you can abuse me
You can do anything you want

I don’t mind, no I don’t mind
‘Cause you’re the certain kind
I’ve been looking for

You can hurt me, you can hurt me
You can do anything you want
Please don’t desert me, don’t desert me
You can do anything you want

I don’t mind, no I don’t mind
‘Cause you’re the certain kind
I’ve been looking for

You can do this, you can do this
You can do anything you want
You can do that, you can do that
You can do anything you want

I don’t mind, no I don’t mind
‘Cause you’re the certain kind
I’ve been looking for.