Technology.

I have a love/hate relationship with technology. I’m sure you do too. This morning, I was feeling angry and helpless and devastated and lost, because my external hard drive – with 500GB of files, photos, videos, audio, creative work, etc – stopped working.

OK, so it wasn’t quite as simple as that. It didn’t just stop working. I got my foot caught in it’s cable, it flew across the room, and then stopped working.

But then technology came to the rescue, in the form of The Internet. I’m sure you’ve heard of this marvel of the modern age. If not, I highly recommend you check it out. It brought unbridled joy to me this morning, just when I was most in need of it. I was literally jumping around the room in excitement when I found this: The Rutles – Lunch. To put it mathematically, Lunch is to The Rutles as the Cirque du Soleil’s Love is to The Beatles. It is a labour of love by a Rutles fan with time, patience and dedication to spare. And for this, I thank him, truly, madly and, indeed, very deeply.

The Rutles, for those of you who don’t know, are a Beatles ‘spoof’ band, conceived by Eric Idle (from off of TV’s Monty Python), with music by Neil Innes (from off of music’s Bonzo Dog (Doo Da) Band and TV’s Monty Python). There have so far been two Rutles films (the second, Can’t Buy Me Lunch, is by all accounts a stinker), and while I enjoy the original film, for me The Rutles’ albums are where it’s at. Like the films, there have been 2 Rutles albums. Unlike the films, however, the second Rutles album is amazing. It is one of my favourite albums of all time. Really.

In 2002, I used to perform a cover of a song from the second album at open mic nights around Melbourne. This is The Rutles’ version:

This is my home recording, sitting on my bed in my makeshift bedroom in North Fitzroy, direct onto minidisc (remember minidiscs?):

I Love You (Neil Innes)

Every time I see you walk by
There’s a certain look in your eye
And your smile says there’s something that I
Should tell you
Every time we meet we say “Hi”
“How’s it going?” “Fine” we reply
But I wonder what would happen if I
Could tell you…

I love you,
I love you

I don’t know why it is or what you do to me
Vocabulary-wise with you I’m all at sea
Every time I’m with your I try
I’m not a shoe-gazin’ kind of a guy
But somehow I just come over too shy
To tell you

Why can’t I tell you how I feel
It’s so absurd
Why does my tongue get tied on three little words?
I feel as if I’m falling apart
Do I blame my head or my heart?
Because I stop every time I start
To tell you

I love you, I love you, I love you,
I love you, I love you,
I love you.

Four or so years ago, I stumbled upon a Lemonheads fan-site that had put together 2 fan-made tribute albums: Squealing Fans In My Tune volumes 1 and 2 (named after the Lemonheads song Ceiling Fan In My Spoon) – featuring covers by fans from across the Lemonheads catalogue. Following that, the fan-site started organising the Squealing Fans Covers Project, with the aim of covering every song on every Lemonheads album released (2 new Lemonheads albums have actually been released since the project started, the latest ironically being a covers album). One album has so far been covered and released in its entirety (It’s A Shame About Ray), whilst the rest of the project splutters along slowly.

I have submitted 4 tracks so far – I Am A Rabbit, Plaster Caster, Dawn Can’t Decide and Being Around. The first 2 of these are themselves songs the Lemonheads covered – I Am A Rabbit was originally by a New Zealand punk band called Proud Scum, and Plaster Caster was by makeup-metal mega-band Kiss.

You won’t be able to hear these tracks until the project is finished – who knows when that will be – but I thought I’d share a couple of abandoned versions I recorded of Dawn Can’t Decide. The original Lemonheads version appeared as a demo on a b-side, and was not sung by front man Evan Dando, but by Australian bass player Nic Dalton. The song then appeared on the album Come On Feel The Lemonheads, sung by Dando. You can hear those songs bellow:

It took me ages to get a version of this song I was happy with. In the version I finally submitted, I changed the song title, ever so slightly, to Da(w)n Can’t Decide, and included the line “Dan can’t decide on the style of music to use to record Dawn Can’t Decide”. Which was very true. I recorded a rock version; a lighter, poppier version, and a countryesque version – and I wasn’t really happy with any of them. I am very happy with the final version, and as soon as it is made available, I will point you in its direction. Until then, here are 2 of my early demos:

Dawn Can’t Decide (E. Dando/N. Dalton):

Dawn can’t decide if there should be more of the porch
She’s sick of being inside
He read the signs
And now they’re making out in Lancaster, just to pass the time

Curtis C called, left a message in Japanese
Dawn took the call
Reviewed the newest Taang! release
Joe shoulda known that the Long Island Lolita would be the cause

Feels good to be Jesse on the inside today
Feels good to be Jesse on the inside today
Because a

G minor morning was a D minor dawning
G minor morning was a D minor dawning
G minor morning was a D minor dawning

And you strike, strike the right chord
The right chord in me
Strike the right chord

Bah bah bah bah
Bah bah bah bah bah, bah bah
Bah bah bah bah bah
No paperwork

Bah bah bah bah
Bah bah bah bah bah, bah bah
Bah bah bah bah bah

Bah bah bah bah bah bah bah bah
Bah bah bah
Dawn can’t decide
Dawn can’t decide