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To quote my own introduction to this song at International Language Of Mime gigs, this is about a friend of mine who wishes to remain nameless. It’s called Emily.

I originally wrote this song towards the end of 2001 as a birthday present for her, but neglected to actually write down the words anywhere. So after I had recorded it on to cassette and given it to her as a present, I thought I’d better write it down and record it for myself for posterity. Unfortunately, I had totally forgotten the second verse, and had to write a new one. I still can’t remember the original version.

At the time I wrote it, I had recently been listening to the song Galveston. I think you can hear the (not particularly subtle) influence, which was totally subconscious and unintentional on my part. See if you can spot it (although our song was more punk-pop than Glen Campbell’s country classic – my next post will be about our country effort).

I was speaking to Emily my friend who wishes to remain nameless the other day, and found out that she was pregnant! So to celebrate, I thought I’d share this song with the world.

I have numerous versions of this song lying around, but I’ll share two of them with you here. First, a version recorded at home by me (guitar, bass and all vocals) on my laptop, with a simple drum loop in the background. The second features the International Language of Mime in a rehearsal studio, recorded onto a friend’s 4-track mini-disc recorder (remember mini-discs?). It was our very first session with our new drummer, Evelyn – who has since gone on to be better known as Pikelet – and features Nathan on lead vocals, with Ev on drums and backing vocals, Dom on bass, and me on guitar and backing vocals. This song was always a crowd favourite at International Language of Mime gigs, and is a lot of fun to play.

Emily by katzette

Emily by The International Language Of Mime

[ETA I've just remembered that I've got photos from this recording session lying around somewhere. I'll try to dig them up and share them here. Watch this space. OK, you can stop watching now.]

Emily

1,2,3,4,1…

Emily, oh Emily
It’s clear to see you care for me
I care for you
Ooh ooh ooh

Emily, oh Emily
You’re always there to carry me on
Through
Me and you

I’ve let you down in the past
But you’ve always forgiven me
Eventually

You’ve got the biggest heart I know
And you think positively
Emily, Emily, Emily

Emily, oh Emily
It’s clear to see you care for me
I care for you
Ooh ooh ooh

Emily, oh Emily
You’re always there to carry me on
Through
Me and you

I’ve let you down in the past
But you’ve always forgiven me
Eventually
When it’s time to go well you know
I’ll be waiting patiently
Emily, Emily, Emily
Emily, oh Emily
It’s clear to see you care for me
I care for you
Ooh ooh ooh

Emily, oh Emily
You’re always there to carry me on
Through
Me and you

Aaahhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh…
Aaahhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh…

I originally wrote this blog a couple of weeks ago, but then couldn’t remember where I’d put the recording of the song. I found it today, so here it is.

Technology.

I have a love/hate relationship with technology. I’m sure you do too. This morning, I was feeling angry and helpless and devastated and lost, because my external hard drive – with 500GB of files, photos, videos, audio, creative work, etc – stopped working.

OK, so it wasn’t quite as simple as that. It didn’t just stop working. I got my foot caught in it’s cable, it flew across the room, and then stopped working.

But then technology came to the rescue, in the form of The Internet. I’m sure you’ve heard of this marvel of the modern age. If not, I highly recommend you check it out. It brought unbridled joy to me this morning, just when I was most in need of it. I was literally jumping around the room in excitement when I found this: The Rutles – Lunch. To put it mathematically, Lunch is to The Rutles as the Cirque du Soleil’s Love is to The Beatles. It is a labour of love by a Rutles fan with time, patience and dedication to spare. And for this, I thank him, truly, madly and, indeed, very deeply.

The Rutles, for those of you who don’t know, are a Beatles ‘spoof’ band, conceived by Eric Idle (from off of TV’s Monty Python), with music by Neil Innes (from off of music’s Bonzo Dog (Doo Da) Band and TV’s Monty Python). There have so far been two Rutles films (the second, Can’t Buy Me Lunch, is by all accounts a stinker), and while I enjoy the original film, for me The Rutles’ albums are where it’s at. Like the films, there have been 2 Rutles albums. Unlike the films, however, the second Rutles album is amazing. It is one of my favourite albums of all time. Really.

In 2002, I used to perform a cover of a song from the second album at open mic nights around Melbourne. This is The Rutles’ version:

This is my home recording, sitting on my bed in my makeshift bedroom in North Fitzroy, direct onto minidisc (remember minidiscs?):

I Love You (Neil Innes)

Every time I see you walk by
There’s a certain look in your eye
And your smile says there’s something that I
Should tell you
Every time we meet we say “Hi”
“How’s it going?” “Fine” we reply
But I wonder what would happen if I
Could tell you…

I love you,
I love you

I don’t know why it is or what you do to me
Vocabulary-wise with you I’m all at sea
Every time I’m with your I try
I’m not a shoe-gazin’ kind of a guy
But somehow I just come over too shy
To tell you

Why can’t I tell you how I feel
It’s so absurd
Why does my tongue get tied on three little words?
I feel as if I’m falling apart
Do I blame my head or my heart?
Because I stop every time I start
To tell you

I love you, I love you, I love you,
I love you, I love you,
I love you.

OK, now we get down to it. This is what I started this blog for. I recently purchased my self one of these:

The other week I dug out a few of my old cassettes, and set about digitising them. Here is the first of the fruits of that digital harvest.

I wrote the song around August/September 2001. It is about the awesome time I had just had at the Reading Festival. This was potentially (my memory is a bit hazy) the first song I wrote as a member of The International Language Of Mime. I recorded this song shortly after I had finished writing it – it was very late at night and I was playing and singing very quietly, and very close to the cassette player. I was also incredibly tired, and you can hear my voice cracking a few times. I think the late night tired vibe comes across, and I quite like it. It appeared in the early set lists of The International Language of Mime, but soon dropped out of it, because I wasn’t very good at singing it when I wasn’t really tired.

I have been accused of ripping off the tune from Oasis. I strongly deny this accusation. I ripped off the tune from The Moldy Peaches (let’s just say I was ‘inspired’ by them, shall we?).

I have included two versions for you: the original home recording, and a recording from an International Language Of Mime* rehearsal session.

Let me know what you think.

The Weekend:

I had a really good weekend, baby,
I want to thank you for the weekend, baby,
I had a really good weekend, baby,
With you.

You made me laugh, you made me smile,
You made me sing for a while,
I forgot my watch had a dial.

You made me dance, you made me shout,
You made me run all about,
I forgot I ever had a doubt.

You made me jump, you made me shake,
You always make me double take,
I forgot it was getting very late.

Doo doo doo…

I forgot it’s getting late,
You always made me double take,
You made me jump, you made me shake.

I forgot I had a doubt,
You made me run all about,
You made me dance, you made me shout.

I forgot my watch had a dial,
You made me sing for a while,
You made me laugh, you made me smile.

I had a really good weekend, baby,
I want to thank you for the weekend, baby,
I had a really good weekend,
With you.

*the Mime line up at this stage was Dom, Dan, Nathan and Gavin

I learnt to play guitar by listening to Lemonheads albums and playing along. I played the It’s A Shame About Ray album on repeat for many months, frequently pausing and replaying tracks, trying to catch what chord or note came next – it must have been incredibly annoying for my family, but generally they just let me get on with it.

Four or so years ago, I stumbled upon a Lemonheads fan-site that had put together 2 fan-made tribute albums: Squealing Fans In My Tune volumes 1 and 2 (named after the Lemonheads song Ceiling Fan In My Spoon) – featuring covers by fans from across the Lemonheads catalogue. Following that, the fan-site started organising the Squealing Fans Covers Project, with the aim of covering every song on every Lemonheads album released (2 new Lemonheads albums have actually been released since the project started, the latest ironically being a covers album). One album has so far been covered and released in its entirety (It’s A Shame About Ray), whilst the rest of the project splutters along slowly.

I have submitted 4 tracks so far – I Am A Rabbit, Plaster Caster, Dawn Can’t Decide and Being Around. The first 2 of these are themselves songs the Lemonheads covered – I Am A Rabbit was originally by a New Zealand punk band called Proud Scum, and Plaster Caster was by makeup-metal mega-band Kiss.

You won’t be able to hear these tracks until the project is finished – who knows when that will be – but I thought I’d share a couple of abandoned versions I recorded of Dawn Can’t Decide. The original Lemonheads version appeared as a demo on a b-side, and was not sung by front man Evan Dando, but by Australian bass player Nic Dalton. The song then appeared on the album Come On Feel The Lemonheads, sung by Dando. You can hear those songs bellow:

It took me ages to get a version of this song I was happy with. In the version I finally submitted, I changed the song title, ever so slightly, to Da(w)n Can’t Decide, and included the line “Dan can’t decide on the style of music to use to record Dawn Can’t Decide”. Which was very true. I recorded a rock version; a lighter, poppier version, and a countryesque version – and I wasn’t really happy with any of them. I am very happy with the final version, and as soon as it is made available, I will point you in its direction. Until then, here are 2 of my early demos:

Dawn Can’t Decide (E. Dando/N. Dalton):

Dawn can’t decide if there should be more of the porch
She’s sick of being inside
He read the signs
And now they’re making out in Lancaster, just to pass the time

Curtis C called, left a message in Japanese
Dawn took the call
Reviewed the newest Taang! release
Joe shoulda known that the Long Island Lolita would be the cause

Feels good to be Jesse on the inside today
Feels good to be Jesse on the inside today
Because a

G minor morning was a D minor dawning
G minor morning was a D minor dawning
G minor morning was a D minor dawning

And you strike, strike the right chord
The right chord in me
Strike the right chord

Bah bah bah bah
Bah bah bah bah bah, bah bah
Bah bah bah bah bah
No paperwork

Bah bah bah bah
Bah bah bah bah bah, bah bah
Bah bah bah bah bah

Bah bah bah bah bah bah bah bah
Bah bah bah
Dawn can’t decide
Dawn can’t decide

Today is my 33? birthday. I am stupidly excited about this. So to celebrate, I am going to upload a song!

The seeds for this song were sown back in the mists of time, when I was a sprightly 18 year old. I was in my final year of secondary school, and had formed my first band, the inspiringly named Psychedelic Curtains. We were nominally a 4 piece – three guitarists and drummer (none of us owned a bass), and I had semi-taught the other two guitarists to play. We never actually all managed to get in a room together at the same time to play – three of us jammed once or twice together.

In reality, the band ended up being a two-piece. Two guitars, one voice (I hadn’t built up the courage to sing in front of anyone else at this stage). We wrote a short album-worth of material and recorded it on a little tape deck in my bedroom. We called the album The Wilderness Of Zin, after discovering the niftily named region on a map of the Negev desert in Israel. We even had a couple of t-shirts printed (coincidentally, I was wearing what’s left of mine today). The picture used on the t-shirt was one I took of a school mate of ours, who has since gone on to bigger and better things*.

This song was not written for that album, but was written a year or so later, when I was feeling nostalgic. The recording was done almost a decade later, in 2005, using an old iMac and ProTools Free. Two vocal tracks, two guitar tracks. Simples.

Disclaimer: I have never been to the Wilderness Of Zin.

*Also coincidentally, I was wearing that t-shirt at the 2001 Reading Festival, the same day that Ladytron were playing, but I had no idea at the time that my old school friend was in the band!

Wilderness Of Zin

I’m lost in the Wilderness of Zin.
A more desolate place,
You have not been in.
Wilderness of Zin.

I’m lost in the Wilderness of Zin.
Where ever else you go,
You’ve always been
To the Wilderness of Zin

I’m lost in the Wilderness of Zin
Wilderness of Zin.

This was the last song I wrote before leaving London for Australia, way back in the mists of time (2001). It is an incredibly basic rock and roll number – a little too basic, it has been said. I have another short song lying around somewhere which I keep meaning to integrate into this one, as an attempt to inject a bit of variety. One day, I may get around to it. It shall not be this day.

This was the first recording I ever made on my laptop, the first song recorded with Garageband. As a result it is somewhat raw. The ‘guitar solos’ are me singing with a distorted guitar effect on my voice. When The International Language Of Mime played this song live, the solos were played on kazoo. We were all class. Until our recent reunion gig at the end of last year, this song had not been performed live since 2002. I always enjoyed playing it in rehearsals – it was a good warm up song – and I’ve always loved Dom’s bass line for it (my attempt to replicate it in this recording was not entirely successful – it was played on a guitar and then dropped an octave)

Anyway, here it is. Feel free to download and share or ignore as you see fit.

Thanks for listening!

Anything You Want (This ‘N That)

You can hit me, you can hit me
You can do anything you want
You can kick me, you can kick
You can do anything you want

I don’t mind, no I don’t mind
‘Cause you’re the certain kind
I’ve been looking for

You can thrill me, you can thrill me
You can do anything you want
You can kill me, you can kill me
You can do anything you want

I don’t mind, no I don’t mind
‘Cause you’re the certain kind
I’ve been looking for

You can use me, you can use me
You can do anything you want
You can abuse me, you can abuse me
You can do anything you want

I don’t mind, no I don’t mind
‘Cause you’re the certain kind
I’ve been looking for

You can hurt me, you can hurt me
You can do anything you want
Please don’t desert me, don’t desert me
You can do anything you want

I don’t mind, no I don’t mind
‘Cause you’re the certain kind
I’ve been looking for

You can do this, you can do this
You can do anything you want
You can do that, you can do that
You can do anything you want

I don’t mind, no I don’t mind
‘Cause you’re the certain kind
I’ve been looking for.

Writer, comedian, actor, knitter, reader, and all round craft machine Josie Long (who is awesome and my hero), has set up a project called One Hundred Days To Make A Better Person. The idea is simple: “from 1 December 2009, Josie Long cordially invites you to pledge to do one thing every day for 100 days in a bid to generally make things better.” I am partaking and have decided to keep it simple: I’ll be writing at least 100 words a day, for 100 days, to get into the habit of writing daily. I have just finished writing on day 1. My word count for the day was 368 (not counting these words), and I have started writing a story that I’ve been thinking about for a while. It’s a sort of detective story/magazine article/short story collection/novel thing, entitled The Distinguished Gentleman’s Last Case. I’ll keep you updated on my progress here and on twitter, using the #100days tag.

I’ll leave you with Josie’s introduction. Take it away, Josie. Now bring it back:

“Hello friends and welcome to One Hundred Days to Make Me a Better Person.

From December 1st, myself and a group of comedians, writers and musicians will be trying to make ourselves better, every day, for a hundred days. Some will be working towards a big project, like learning a language, and others will be doing the same something, like writing a letter each day.

As the days go on we’ll be documenting and posting our experiences here, as well as on our flickr and twitter accounts.

On March 10th, we will present our experiences, and perform some of the things we’ve made at a spectacular gig for the London Word Festival. The gig will feature a gallery space for people to show off their own projects and all kinds of hi-jinks.

We want you to join in too!

All you have to do is decide on a project to do every day for a hundred days.

It can be the same thing every day or working towards something big. The only thing is that it has to be towards improving yourself. Make yourself friendlier, stronger, wiser or just sillier!

Check back in to the site to see everyone’s progress – we will be blogging about it every day.”

Follow us on twitter.com/hundredday. Look for #100days tweets

Find us on flickr.com username: A Hundred Days To Make Me a Better Person

My first music post on my new website!

This is just a quickie to let you in on some exciting news! 8 years ago, I journeyed to Australia as part of a British beat combo called The International Language Of Mime. And now, over 5 years since our last gig, we are performing another one-off reunion farewell comeback spectacular for your pleasure!

The details:

The gig will be at Idgaff at 160 Hoddle Street (a bit south of Johnson St) in Abbotsford. (Nearest station – Collingwood).

Here’s a map for you:

The proceedings will kick off around 5pm on the 5th December, we’ll be playing at 6.30. The Red Aces will be on at 5.30.

Hope to see you there!!! Here’s a song to whet your appetite:

Katzette

(P.S. We will be rusty – we haven’t played together for over 5 years, and have never played with our new drummer before? So please, be gentle…)

I just took the New Humanist’s “What Kind Of Humanist Are You?” quiz, and the result was scarily accurate, so I thought I’d share it with y’all.

What Kind Of Humanist Are You?
Hedonistic Humanist

You are one of life’s enjoyers, determined to get the most you can out of your brief spell on this glorious planet. What first attracted you to atheism was the prospect of liberation from the Ten Commandments, few of which are compatible with a life of pleasure. You play hard and work quite hard, have a strong sense of loyalty and a relaxed but consistent approach to your philosophy. You can’t see the point of abstract principles and probably wouldn’t lay down your life for a concept, though you might for a friend. Something of a champagne humanist, you admire George Bernard Shaw for his cheerful agnosticism and pursuit of sensual rewards, and your Hollywood hero is Marlon Brando, who was beautiful (for a while), irascible and aimed for goodness in his own tortured way. You adored the humanist London bus slogan (“There’s probably no God, now stop worrying and enjoy your life”) and are delighted that wild young comedians like Stewart Lee, Christina Martin and Ricky Gervais share your full-blooded rejection of religion. Sometimes you might be tempted to allow your own pleasures to take precedence over your ethics. But everyone is striving for that elusive balance between the good and the happy life. You’d probably better open another bottle and agree that for you there’s no contest.

Emily

I Love You

The Weekend

Dawn Can’t Decide

September Gurls

Wilderness Of Zin

Anything You Want

#100days

The Return!

What Kind Of Humanist Are You?

Instructions:

Let’s See What We Can Find

"Songs"

My Friends Rock

My Web Presence

Let’s Get Together (In Our Minds)

Instructions:

Let’s See What We Can Find

"Songs"

My Friends Rock

My Web Presence

Let’s Get Together (In Our Minds)

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